livejournal.

I looked at our old livejournals today. It nearly broke my heart and I felt the most overwhelming nostalgia for my junior year. I don't miss high school, but I miss what it felt like.

My stepfather pointed out that it was my decision to take the next step and that sometimes the next step means realizing that you can never go back to what it was like before. I didn't want to admit he was right then. I think I have to now.

What's funny is the things that I miss and think about now, and when they come late at night when I'm disturbed from sleep and forced to wake up because of these dreams I keep having. For the most part, they're sillier events, and things that I would've normally not thought about, but other people bring up, most likely because of their silliness. Or, times where I wouldn't have felt any sort of jealousy. I remember certain choices I'd made, friends, moments, etc. I have changed so much since then. (and for the record, I think she was right.)

As cliché as it sounds, it hits hardest when I can't sleep.